When Joyce and David N. Dinkins went on  vacation to Puerto Rico over Thanksgiving, she had two suitcases and her  husband had four.     "He always has more than I do," Joyce Dinkins  said with a laugh in an interview at the borough president's office  yesterday afternoon.
     The city's new  first lady is unpretentious, soft-spoken, down-to-earth and a bit shy.  Unlike her fashion-conscious husband, who has his suits custom-made, she  buys most of her clothes off the rack. She doesn't dye her hair, and is  happy to have streaks of gray mixed in with the black. "I like things  the way they're supposed to be," she said. Her few concessions to  fashion include a bit of lipstick and red fingernail polish.
     A private person, who stayed out of the public eye during her  husband's grueling 11-month campaign for mayor, Joyce Dinkins is trying  to get used to the spotlight as she moves into Gracie Mansion.
     "I haven't done a lot of interviews," she said as she smoothed her  navy blue pleated skirt and posed for a photographer yesterday. "I  haven't been newsworthy up until now. You're asking me if I'm going to  change? I don't plan to. I probably will be less private but aside from  that I'll basically be the same person."
     She quit her $57,453-a-year job as coordinator of the city office of  the State Department of Taxation on Dec. 14 to work as the city's  official hostess and to organize special projects at  Gracie Mansion.
     "I thought being first lady would be a full-time job and I thought  that the demands of my new career would really not allow me to work full  time," she said. "I think I'm going to enjoy doing it."
      Being first lady is an unpaid position, but Joyce Dinkins clearly  considers it a real job. She will be taking over some of the tasks  performed by Diane Coffey, Mayor Edward I. Koch's chief of staff, during  the bachelor mayor's 12-year tenure.
      Coffey, who earned $110,000 a year, greeted visitors, helped oversee  the restoration of Gracie Mansion, kept track of the comings and goings  of dignitaries staying at the mansion, and made sure the rugs got  cleaned, the chairs were upholstered and flowers were on the tables for  important dinners.
      Friends and co-workers say the new first lady has a knack for diplomacy and for smoothing over differences between people.
      "She's always careful not to hurt anyone. She has the ability to  make someone feel comfortable, as if you've known her for 20 years,"  said Monica Guglielmo, secretary to state Tax Commissioner James W.  Wetzler, who worked with Joyce Dinkins. "When she said, `Hello, how are  you?' she'd really be interested in how you were."
      Her sister, Gloria Sparks, who lives in Los Angeles, said Dinkins is sweet-tempered, but determined and independent.
       "With David's life-style in politics, you have to learn to stand  on your own two feet," Sparks said at a dinner to honor Joyce Dinkins  earlier this month. "She steps back and lets him enjoy what he enjoys,  but when it gets beyond what she wants she stops. You can't push her  beyond a certain point. She's determined, you can't budge her."
       Born in Manhattan on Dec. 14, 1930, the former Joyce Burrows moved  to Yonkers with her parents and older sister while in elementary  school. Her father, former state Assemb. Daniel L. Burrows, who also  worked in real estate and insurance, hoped that life in suburbia would  give the children an advantage.
     But  Joyce and her sister were the only black children in the school and were  teased and subjected to racist taunts. The family moved back to Harlem  within a year. Her sister recalled that they were called "the little  chocolate bars" at the school.
      "It  makes you aware that racism exists," Joyce Dinkins  said. "Prior to  that, we had never encountered anything to that degree."
      She met her husband when they were both students at Howard  University. They married in 1953, the same year she graduated with a  degree in sociology.
     She abandoned  plans to work as a social worker to care for her children, David, now  35, and Donnaz, 32; to keep the books for her mother's Harlem liquor  store, and to help care for her mother after she was stricken with  multiple sclerosis. In 1978, she took a job running the day-to-day  operation of the New York City office of the State Taxation Department.
      She and her husband plan to move into Gracie Mansion in  mid-January, two weeks after the inauguration and the traditional  moving-in day for new mayors. Koch wanted to stay on to give one last  bash, a New Year's Eve party.
    "We have four years there," Joyce Dinkins said with her characteristic diplomacy. "We don't have to move in January 1."
 
 
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